Dear Diary,
college has decided to charge me 20$ in fines for damages to our floor. the injustice of this is huge. the description of what the fines are for is because there was too much recycling in the kitchen, and someone barfed in the sink. I am getting charged 20$ because someone who i don't know barfed in the sink on our floor. if i remember correctly, college costed 1,700 times that much, no exaggeration. you think they would be able to absorb the cost of sink barf. there are 14 girls on my floor. so they got a total of $280 for cleaning up sink barf. I would have done it for $10. jerks! I can't even talk about it. it makes me too upset.
I got like 8 inches of my hair cut off today, at a new place. the lady who cut it made me give her a hug afterwards. she says that everyone who comes to see her gets a hug. it was nice. now i just have a wee ponytail. terrifically liberating. what's next? maybe a huge purple butterfly tattoo across my back.
It was hot today. I coerced all of west seattle to buy green iced tea and arnold palmers at work. I am very persuasive when it comes to deciding on beverages for people. what can i say. i know what the people want, and they respect that.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
Seattle is gorgeous today, but I have the exact same empty-dead-verge of tears feeling that i have had after coming home from every great trip in my life. it all started when i was six and had to return home from my first two nights at camp sealth. i knew that things would never be the same. and they weren't. the heartbreak of leaving is hard, but it's for the best. the sad feeling was really bad after exeter summer school junior year... i still haven't quite recovered from that one.
They showed bridget jones edge of reason on the plane from ny to seattle, and i just wanted to tell everyone around me, "LOOK! they're walking by the tower of london! I was there! on saturday!" but of course they don't care. that was probably the worst flight ever, besides the killer movie. maybe it had something to do with me spending the entire night before attempting to sleep on a tiny bench in one of those pay phone cubbys at JFK. it was really cold and i couldn't get comfortable, believe it or not. I've been trying to think if i've ever had a night worse than that one. I don't think i have. that says something about my tame lifestyle. I can't say i had ever had to spend an entire night alone in a stainless steel phone cubicle in new york before. i guess you could consider me pampered.
I think i need to watch napolean dynamite to get my spirits up about the USA again. People here aren't as polite and they do not stand to the right on escalators. There's just so much about the UK that is lovely or at least novel. for instance all of these nice words that i compiled out of my UK edition of Cosmopolitan.
daft bugger heaps cheers mucked around trainers mate dodgy.
now if only my meticulous research applied to something useful.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
i have only 2 minutes left on my half hour of internet use for a pound. this will be my last international post for a while. now i have to go to the airport and stress myself out for a bit. thanks for reading, i love you all.
Cheers,
Diana

Dear Diary,
I have got some serious time to kill here. I'm on the south side of the river and my next engagement isn't for 2 hours. It's my second to last day in london but the fiona is gone so it's just not the same. I also was looking at my ticket home, and failed to notice when i purchased it that i have a 9 hour layover in JFK. what a lame way to end such an excellent holiday. sleeping in an airport. (PS, saying "holiday" instead of "vacation" totally comes naturally now that I've been here for a week) hopefully i can find a nice padded bench without armrests. otherwise. what a nightmare.
Using an english keyboard means I get this awesome character at my fingertips ££££££. thats the symbol for pounds, for all you silly americans who are not well versed in such things. I probably won't see this on a keyboard for a while so i should really take advantage of it £££££££££££. btw, how do chinese people type their characters? i've always wondered that.
I have some sort of innate internal compass when it comes to taking the buses here. Today I was wandering around, looking for buckingham palace, and i got on a random bus, and bam there it was. so i got off the bus. if only i could make this work when i'm on foot. I am a disaster on foot.
You know what is complete crap about this town? everyday i see a million bentleys and rolls royces, but have i ever seen a woman driving one? NO. and it's not like people are getting chauffered either. It'll just be a man alone in this supercar. what's the deal here? the wife gets the smart car while the man enjoys the lap of luxury? women like driving nice cars too. Sure, marrying a man with a bentley would be nice, but marrying a man who would let you drive his bentley would be priceless.
Still trying not to get hit by buses.
Love,
Diana