Dear Diary,
I'm upset. I am at home, reading some catalog magazine thing that college sent my parents, and it profiles all of these students doing amazing things and basically being major suckups, and it makes me jealous! Why am I not a pamplin scholar? I don't want to think about it. It makes me too upset. Just wait, in ten years, being a pamplin scholar and having a special study room in the library won't mean nothin. I'll probably be famous or something and have like fifty of my own study rooms.
My brother and I watched a movie with Pauly Shore tonight and it was brilliant. I think there were other people in it, but i only had eyes for Pauly. a true gem from 1992. i think it was called "son in law". God bless Comcast on demand movies. But unfortunately it was over at 9:30 and so we watched like 5 Outcast videos on DVD with all of our free time. pretty original stuff. I remember trying to get my dad to watch the "Hey Ya" video with me last summer, on MTV. I wanted him see how Outkast was channeling the Beatles.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
Oh man. guess what leaked onto the internet today. Kevin Federline's new single. I think my favorite line is "I know you wish you was in my position because i keep gettin into situations that you wish you was in, cousin" At first that seems like a redundant and egotistical statement but if you think about it it's really deep. I have to go. but i'll write more later.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
so i was having an okay day today, until i opened my damn mailbox and guess what's in it. just guess... oh man you'll never guess. It was my final exam from global resource dilemmas. a final exam that i took 6 months ago. i just wanted to say, thanks, professor mandel, for reminding me that 6 months ago i made a "poorly conditioned argument" about multinational corporations and eco-tourism and a "very weak" argument about humans living 500 years. what kind of questions are these anyways. i was over it. and he just had to add salt to old wounds. did he honestly think that i would still care? well i don't. i've moved on.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
I had two ephiphanies today. it started when i was wearing a really cute girl outfit but i was suffering and uncomfortable in the cold. i couldn't take it. I came back to my room and did put on carhartts, a sweatshirt i've had since freshman year, a beanie, and a puffy vest. this is oregon damnit, no one will judge here. and i'm going to wear carhartts if i want, okay? okay. sometimes being a girl is lame. I'm not saying that generally i excel in the girl department, but come on, do boys ever have to wear ANYTHING uncomfortable? no. they don't. I guess ties are probably slightly uncomfortable. still can a tie even begin to compare to the discomfort of 3 inch spike heels and a strapless bra? no. it can't.
second ephiphany, i was trying to open this jar. and i couldn't open it. but i was all alone. and i was thinking, jesus there is no way that i will be able to open this jar. then i started to feel sorry for myself because there was no one to help me. i was thinking that i felt very alone in the world. just me and a uselessly closed jar. but then it popped open. and i realized me, alone, isn't so pathetic after all.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
A Lewis and Clark halloween cannot go by without at least some comment from the blogosphere. a lot of people dressed up here, i was impressed. It made me feel like, maybe i should dip myself in orange paint and make myself a dress out of autumn leaves, or something equally attention grabbing.
My favorite was the guy who was wearing a plastic dinosaur head and huge dinosaur claws with a standard hoodie, walking out of howard hall. this was at like 9 am, and in the rain. that's dedication. 9am and he's already steaming it up inside a plastic head. At dinner people made a much better showing as far as costumes go. I really liked the guy who painted himself green from the belly button up, and walked around the cafeteria topless carrying a huge axelike weapon made out of ductape.
I hate it when people hear that i'm from seattle and want to talk to me about nirvana and pearl jam. i know absolutely nothing about them. i just recently learned who eddie vedder was. it makes me feel like a bad seattlite. At least i make a damn fine latte. now that i think about it i should brush up on my supreme court justices as well. I don't like the idea of being a bad seattlite and a bad american too.
Love,
Diana