can you believe this crap?! from the papers of diana freeburg

worlds most fascinating college graduate

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Dear Diary,
Another saturday going by too fast. i've been selling hotdogs all day at l&c sports events... I love how easy it is. No one really buys much. I hang around and drink sprite out of a can with a straw and practice doing wall-sits to entertain myself.
Now i'm listening to deathcab for cutie against my will and reading the wittiest and/or most desparate of the craigslist personals out loud to my roommate with tons of heartfelt emotion, before i leave to go sell hotdogs again.
GUESS WHAT! i am a college athelete. i get to play golf! i'm so excited i can't contain it. More later, hotdog time now.
Love,
Diana

Friday, September 16, 2005

Dear Diary,
I want you to try something. go to google, type in "failure" and then click, "i'm feeling lucky" just see what pops up. i don't know how long this particular search will be the same, but in the meantime this is pretty nuts.
Love,
Diana

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Dear Diary,
Sometimes i just think to myself, internet, you are too good to me i don't deserve you. you provide countless hours of entertainment, allow me to express my opinions, help me manage my money, keep lines of communication open, all in all, the perfect boyfriend.
Love,
Diana

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Dear Diary,
my life is so busy and important i barely have time to post. i can just barely pencil you in, internet land. lets see... what happened today? I learned how to sell concessions at football games, (tres exciting, i get to operate a popcorn maker- can't wait) i almost passed out at bikrams yoga when everything started to go black during the second tree posture... I went to the math skills center for the first time and had an amazing revelation. WOW- there is nothing to do here except math or stare at the wall. I'll be there pretty much every day for the rest of the semester harassing the econ and math majors or whoever the poor schmucks are that work there.
the suitemate is standing behind me hiccuping EXTREMELY loud and i am about to shank her with my hello kitty pencil if she doesn't ix-nay this behavior.
I've been seeing altogether too much tie dye at this school lately, and as much as i love to make fun of the clove smoking chaco frisbee toting wearing hippies, i hate to admit that i have recently been a huge participant in this trend. But i just want to say to them, hey i was a camp counselor who happens to be an extremely talented tie dye artist, what's your excuse?
Love,
Diana

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Dear Diary,
I tried to rally support all over campus today for the season premiere of gilmore girls but there were not many besides my faithful roommate that shared my enthusiasm. whateva.
I have a tooth soreness that i think i can attribute singlehandedly to the $11.99 that i spent at the fudge hut in Leavenworth. I will not be signing up for their fudge of the month club. that would be a poor choice. and there are enough opportunities for poor choices here in the college comunnity. there are some people outside my open window making poor choices as i type. smoking their wafting cancer sticks...if only i had a bb gun. common knowledge that guns solve all sorts of problems.
Heres a link to my new favorite website. http://www.thesuperficial.com/ everything that i wish my blog could be.
My brother says that he went to a seattle event where 10 city council candidates were being interviewed on pertinent topics. The interviewers asked the candidates what they thought of what Kanye West said about George Bush not liking black people. Apparently 7 out of the 10 of them agreed with kanye, that george bush does in fact NOT care about black people. unprecedented!
Love,
Diana

Monday, September 12, 2005

Dear Diary,
People aren't funny enough at this college. i end up picking up a lot of the slack in this department, but it's not easy. sometimes i get scared that being here is making me less funny. what a terrible thing to say! i can't blame my school, only myself for being uninspired.
And now, thanks to the almighty power of the facebook.com to unite college students everywhere, here are the newest tulane university facebook clubs- "I now attend the university of atlantis- Hurricane Katrina has ruined my life" "The first thing on my orientation schedule was "hurricane" and "Katrina rained on my parade, literally, tulane chapter" Some of my colleges clubs are, "I shower regularly" and "dinnertime is at 4:45 pm sharp". You can see how facebook covers the entire spectrum of sad to satirical personal expression. amazing. how can i get a job with these facebook people? i could start by finishing my computer science homework.
Love,
Diana

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Dear Diary,
weekends here are SO long, i really don't feel like i deserve them. first of all, they start at 12:30 on friday which is terribly early. on fridays afternoons around here, everyone just waits around for it to be friday night. most everyone naps. our lives are pretty cush. that's why we have to make self-inflicted hardship by going to birkams yoga or other spirit-crushing excercise. The whole idea of "working out" is ridiculous, we've made our lives so easy with things like washing machines and cars that we find it necessary to sweat for the sake of sweat. humans are way silly, i quit!
the only thing about having all of this free time is that we have absolutely no excuses for not doing our homework over the weekend. "well i woulda done the reading professor so and so but i have all of sex and the city on dvd and you understand, don't you?"
Love,
Diana