Dear Diary,
I am home from camp and tireder than tired. it would be pathetic to go to bed at 8:15 so i am trying to hold out. meaning watching tv. I was super stoked to watch the british sitcom, "coupling", on DVD, but it turned out to be highly disappointing. i can usually appreciate bad humor, but this isn't even clever and there is a really offensive laugh track. it makes me proud that sex and the city and friends are american shows- at least those are clever. (and if you think this is an awful thing to say why the hell are you reading my website) so instead of rotting my brain listening to the sexual banter of british floozies, i am watching tony blair answer kanye west's questions about aids in africa on MTV. afterwards i'll probably read some chaucer or something.
my brother is on a road trip through wyoming, he brought his bicycle and a hatchet so he can hunt buffalo. it doesn't make complete sense but i wish i was there.
the campers left, some of them got a little teary, that means that they had fun. if they really love me they will send me cookies.
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
Tonight i have to make up good things to say about all of my campers. aka- lies. no that is a joke. but it's not going to be easy. I can't decide if my kids like me or not. i can't always be the good guy, you know? sometimes i am a huge jerk, but that is only when the kids are being jerks. for instance last night when this kid was trying to make these two indian girls say "thank you, come again" in an abu voice. then he started talking about how all black people like fried chicken. needless to say i wasn't impressed. i don't know if i handled it well, or if it was a borderline flipout. i might have flipped out. but either way the kid is probably used to getting in trouble if he has an attitude that bad. anyhow, old news by now.
camp has made me loopy. i'm leaving tomorrow for a well earned break..
Love,
Diana

Dear Diary,
These have been the longest three days of my life. I feel like i'm getting sick and heat stroke and all sorts of exhaustion. it's weird, because it's not like i run around all day long, but being in charge is DRAINING!! but being in charge is also the most awesome thing ever. i didn't realize how much these girls automatically respect me. for instance, yesterday in the "star lab", these girls were being all obnoxious when the naturalist was talking, and in my meanest voice possible, i was like, "you guys need to be quiet! NOW!" it seems small, but the fact that they actually listened to me was completely miraculous. This is generally where people start to develop egos and power trips, but that will not happen to me. i will be loved and feared and it will be amazing.
These girls are pretty great for the most part, and i feel like i'm a complete expert in what it's like to be a middle schooler, hopefully they will gain something from my insights. i keep trying to place myself in their group as one of their peers, like "i would totally be annoyed with her, and me and her would be best friends by now..."
so far the suckiest thing about being a counselor is having to carry the cooler on overnights.
Love,
Diana
ps. if you are my parents and you haven't sent me so much as a post card yet perhaps you have forgotten what protocol is for having a kid at camp. i might not be in the same kid "role" but i am still your kid!

Dear Diary,
So all these kids showed up. now the counselors mourn for their lost freedom. But so far, so good. It's harder to keep them entertained than i expected. I think once they get to know each other it will be eaiser. two of the girls in my cabin are friends from renton, and they are teaching us all of these ghetto fabulous stomp routines. i think that it might be the most important thing that i learn all summer. sometimes i don't understand these kids though. I don't always know how to respond to everything they tell me. for instance, when they were unpacking right after they got here, one girl was like, "shamu, i feel like we've been here for so long! i feel like it's time to leave!" i was just like, "cool....?" and then this morning when we were making candles, this one girl kept putting her fingers in the wax and i kept taking her gross little hand molds away from her, because everyone knows that finger molds are against the rules. finally, i heard her tell the other girls, "I HATE HER!! SHAMU IS SO MEAN" my feelings were slightly wounded until afterwards she was like, "shamu i made this candle special for you." where do i go with that? she's a fickle one. They haven't started unconditionally worshipping me yet, so there is still progress to be made. if anyone has ideas for keeping seventh graders entertained, feel free to comment.
Love,
Diana